[Meredith] Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive.
[continuous beep]
[George] Family.
[Cristina] Love.
[Izzie] Sex.
[Derek] But we only need one thing...
[Burke] To actually be alive.
[ticking]
[Cristina] We need a beating heart.
[Addison] When our heart is threatened...
[Alex] We respond in one of two ways.
- [George] We either run... - [Burke] Or...
[Izzie] We attack.
[Richard] There's a scientific term for this.
- [Alex] Fight... - [Addison] Or flight.
[Bailey] It's instinct.
[muted sound]
[Meredith] We can't control it.
[continuous beep]
[Izzie] Or can we?
- [continuous beep] - [George] Izzie.
His heart's barely beating. We need to call a code.
I can't feel a pulse. Izzie, we need to call a code!
- No! I have a plan. - He's crashing! I need to call the...
No! If we call a code, they will rush him to surgery and replace his LVAD
and he will stabilize. He needs to get worse to get this heart.
- Izzie, this is crazy. - He has to get this heart.
He will die waiting for another chance.
- We have to call a code! - No!
You press that code button, I will hurt you.
Not a Iot, 'cause we're friends, but enough so that things will break
and you Iie on the floor out of my way.
- Izzie... - You have a decision to make.
You can stay here and help me with this or you can go.
What's it gonna be, George?
[siren]
[Cristina] Chief! How bad is it? It Iooks bad.
I'm here. I can help. If there's anything surgical, I can help.
Why don't you go run Trauma 2, Dr. Yang?
I get to run Trauma 2 all by myself?
Yes, but find me if you need help. And get consults.
I'm on it!
[siren]
- How bad is it? - Uh, GSW to the right shoulder.
- He's Iost a Iot of blood. - Get him to Trauma 1
and keep the blinds closed. Yang's on the floor.
Self-inflicted GSW to the head. Pulse is thready.
- This is the shooter? - Emptied his clip, then shot himself.
And blew off half his head. OK, OK.
Um, push one of epi and get him on the monitor.
- You're running this? - Damn right, I am.
- Hey. Wait. - I'm fine.
Lay down. You Iost a Iot of blood.
I'm fine. Let go. I'm fine! I have a patient that I have to go check on.
No, no. No, you are the patient. Lay down!
[chuckles]
Dr. Bailey, when did you get here?
Page Shepherd.
[rapid beeping]
Take over compressions.
- You're shot? - Cristina?
- [Richard] Back to your station. - He's shot?
- Yang, we got it. It's OK. - That guy shot you.
- Move. - He's a Iost cause.
- He's circling the drain. - You don't get to kill yourself.
You do not get off that easily. Push high-dose epi.
- Dr. Yang... - What?
I want to be able to tell his family I did everything I could
to save his pathetic, miserable Iife. Give him three of epi. Now!
We should be hearing from Dr. Burke any minute.
That's what you said half an hour ago.
Well, whether or not we hear from him,
we hit that hour mark, I'm going in to get my heart.
- OK, no exit wound. - Entry upper right shoulder.
Could be Iodged in the spine. OK, Iet's roll him over.
- [Richard] Easy. - [Derek] Watch the arm.
- Easy. - Dr. Burke?
- Hmm? - The bullet is in dangerous property.
- We need to check your hand function. - Try and squeeze my fingers, OK?
- They moved my guy upstairs. How is he? - Wait outside.
I'm not going to wait outside. Burke?
Can we have a moment?
Only a moment. I don't want to waste any time. OK?
- Cristina. - Honey, you don't have to say anything.
I know you're sorry.
I know you didn't mean to kick me off the transplant and I'm not mad.
I mean, I was, but I'm not anymore, so don't worry about it.
Don't even think about it. OK?
I mean, all that matters is that you get better and you get through this.
And I'm here for you. Whatever you need. Anything.
I need...
you... to... to go...
to check on Denny Duquette.
[Burke sighs]
- OK. - [grunts]
OK, that was my best "supportive girlfriend"
and you kind of ruined it with medicine. OK?
Addison! Thank you for meeting us.
What's so important I'm keeping it secret from my Chief of Surgery?
I was chaperoning a prom for my niece. We had a Iittle bit of a situation.
Camille Travis, 1 7, Iost consciousness during sexual intercourse?
- Oh, keep it down. - It's OK, Aunt Adele. I'm fine.
When your Uncle Richard finds out you were cashing in your V-card,
- none of us will be fine. - [girl] Camille?
- [girl 2] Mrs. Webber! - [girl 1] My God! Is she OK?
No one ever died from having sex, right?
You're not going to tell my parents, right? I used a condom and everything.
George's page said it was an emergency.
- You paged Meredith? - We need help!
- What the hell is going on? - What the hell is going on?
- Exactly what I said. - [George] She cut his LVAD wires!
Are you trying to kill him?
I'm trying to save him. AII I have to do is confirm that his condition is worse,
then Burke can call UNOS and he'II move up on the Iist and will get his heart.
- About Burke... - She's gone insane, right?.
- About Burke... - It will be fine!
- Izzie! - When Burke gets here,
- he will know what to do. - About Burke...
- What? - He's been shot!
- [Izzie] Burke's not coming? - Cristina, are you OK?
- I'm fine. - Burke's not coming?
Why didn't I take the internship in San Diego? None of this would be happening.
- Burke's not coming! - No, Izzie. Burke is not coming.
I know you have problems with your possible murder charges
and stupid idea about stealing a heart,
but Burke's kind of busy right now!
Denny's going to die. Denny's going to die and I killed him.
You shouldn't have done it! We have to tell someone.
Denny won't get the heart and Izzie'II get kicked out.
- I'm Ieaving. - Cristina!
Burke could die, too.
Complications arise all the time because of gunshot wounds!
Oh, my God.
- If you were thinking with your head... - I did what I thought was best!
[all argue]
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
No one is Ieaving. And no one is dying.
[breathlessly] Thank you.
It was kind of getting on my nerves, all this dying talk.
Denny.
It's OK.
I think, uh, maybe we should all Iisten to Meredith.
- It Iooks Iike she might have a plan. - You have a plan?
Just give me a minute.
- You girls should go back to the prom. - Will you call Camille's parents?
Not until I have to. You know her mom. She gets a Iittle hysterical.
- Brian, disappear. - What?
Go! Disappear! Richard.
- [breezily] Richard. - Adele.
- Hmm. - What? Are you here to see Preston?
- No. What happened to Preston? - Preston was shot.
- [gasps] Preston was shot? - Yeah.
Camille. What happened to Camille?
- Why didn't you call me? - She's 1 7, sweetheart.
She'II be 1 8 in a few months. Most girls Iose it way before...
Uh-huh! Do you think I want to hear that?
Do you think I want to picture my baby niece... "Iosing it"?
Richard, Richard, take deep breaths.
Well, the bleeding has stopped, but her pelvic exam does concern me.
I'd Iike to do an ultrasound.
Three years ago, Camille was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.
They only removed one ovary to try and preserve fertility,
but her checkups have been clean since then.
OK. Well, Iet's not worry until we have to.
You! You wait right there! I want to talk to you!
- I said wait. Stop! I said stop! - Richard, take deep breaths! Richard!
- Oh, that's a stupid plan! - Well, if Burke isn't coming,
then we have to confirm Denny's condition ourselves.
We get the blood work. We do the echo.
No one even has to know what Izzie did.
None of us have done an echo on our own.
Cristina has. Burke taught her.
- I'm not involved. - What if this were Burke?
- What if you were me? - This is bad.
This is bad and serious and against a Iot of rules.
- It's not fun for me. - What if you were me?
- I wouldn't fall for a patient. - You fell for an attending.
- What's the point? - We can't help who we fall for.
Yeah.
His hands are cold.
- My hands are always cold. - Your hand is cold, Preston.
I have cold hands.
[Burke coughs]
Bullet could be Iodged in the brachial plexus. That's dangerous.
Very dangerous.
[softly] My hands are always cold.
[Richard] We'II have to do an angiogram.
I'm always cold.
[rapid beeping]
Trachea's deviated to the right!
Absent breath sounds on the right side! Let's go!
[Derek] 1 4-gage angio.
Let's hurry.
Dr. Burke? You gotta stay with me now. There you go.
That's it! There you go! You're all right. Right here. Right here.
Your Iung collapsed. You're OK.
You're OK now.
He's been shot? Dude.
We'II have to run these tests ourselves.
UNOS gave us an hour. In a couple of minutes, our time is up.
This chick is hardcore. She's not gonna wait.
- OK, well, you just have to stall her. - I'm not getting involved with this.
I don't care if that drawling bedridden whiner ever gets a heart.
AIex. Do this. For Izzie.
I'm not guaranteeing anything.
So... was it totally romantic?
Yeah, before... the pain and the paramedics and everything?
OK, so...
you know that feeling when you Iook into someone's eyes
and you're totally comfortable
and you aren't self-conscious and everything just... is, Iike, perfect?
Camille, have you had any symptoms, um... any abdominal pain?
Nausea?
- Anything? - No, she's been fine.
You haven't been fine, have you?
No, not for, Iike, a month or so.
You've been feeling sick for a month?
I wanted to go to prom. I, I... I didn't want to be the girl with cancer, again.
You're not. She's not, right?
Hey.
[Adele, chuckling] Oh.
I was just trying to remember the night I Iost my virginity.
And I can't. [chuckles]
I remember who it was with
and I remember I was 1 8,
but... I can't remember any of the details.
I can remember all of the details.
- Kind of wish I couldn't. - That bad?
No, just not good.
Good came Iater. And then really good came.
That Iittle girl in there's just getting started.
She hasn't even seen what good is yet.
PIease. Addison.
Tell me she's going to have a chance to see what the good stuff is.
Oh.
I'm so sorry, Adele.
How's his heart Iooking?
His Ieft ventricle's shot and he's barely pushing blood out.
I'm sorry. I know that you're worried about Burke.
You know, whatever. It's fine.
Cristina, can't you just try to understand?
I Iove him.
- You don't even know him. - I do know him.
You've never even seen him outside this hospital. You don't know him.
I know him. Maybe I don't Iive with him or work with him Iike you do with Burke,
but I do know him. And there's... there's possibility here.
And given the choice of running or staying...
You should run. A sane person, a person who values her career
and everything she's worked for,
a person who values her own heart, for God's sake... that person would run.
[Denny, softly] A sane person...
would marry me.
What? What did you say?
What did he say?
He said marry me? He said marry me, right?
- He did. - Denny. Wake up. Denny.
[rapid beeping]
- What's happening? - I'm pumping harder. I don't know.
- He's flatline! - He's not flatline.
There's movement in his heart. OK, um, uh, Iet's shock him.
- Charge the defibrillator. - Ventilate, George!
- I am. - Charging to 200!
- [Cristina] You got it? - Yeah.
CIear!
- Is Dr. Burke alive? - Yes.
Shame. He'd probably have made a good donor.
OK, people, Iet's get our organs and get out of here.
That heart is not yours. Seattle Grace is still waiting for test results.
Well, I'm not. Ten blade.
You can't do that.
I just did.
[chatter, telephones ring]
Girls.
Um, I called Jillian.
And I called Tessa.
And they called Simon and Bianca and Deborah.
- Girls... - It's her prom, Dr. Webber.
She can't miss her whole prom! So... we, Iike, brought it to her.
Kids!
Kids! Listen up.
Look, I know you wanted to see Camille.
Why don't you come back tomorrow? During the day. In smaller groups.
[muttering]
Look, I'm sorry, girls.
I can't have a bunch of teenagers running in the hallways.
People are sick. People are d...
Dying?
Yeah, we know.
[elevator bell]
How're you doing?
I'm developing numbness in my... fourth and fifth fingers.
And there's a pseudoaneurysm in the subclavian artery.
You know the drill.
Wait a few days, maybe the aneurysm won't grow.
Yeah, if... if it stays this size, there's too much damage.
We'II just go in there and we'II fix it. Relieve the compression on the nerves.
But the operation could cause damage to the nerves.
Yes.
And I could... Iose function of the entire arm.
Yes.
[sighs]
You can do this? You're good enough to do this?
I think so.
- But you're not sure. - But I'm not sure.
So...
what do I do?
It's not Iike you to ask those kinds of questions.
It's not Iike you not to have the answers.
How dare you send those kids away?
Adele. PIease. You're emotional. OK?
I just told my sister her baby's cancer is back.
You're damn right, I'm emotional!
If you don't want to bend your precious rules for Camille, fine.
Don't do it for her. Do it for me.
Do it for your wife who never asks you for anything.
Who says nothing about your Iong hours.
Who Iooks the other way while you have an affair with another woman.
Who sobered you up when that woman Ieft you.
Who stayed with you when everyone said I would be better off alone.
I'm not asking you, I'm telling you, you're going to make this up to Camille.
You're going to prioritize the needs of your family
above those of your other patients.
Or... you're going to find a new place to sleep.
- Derek. - Not now, Addison.
- Derek. - Not now.
[sighs]
There's never a good place to hide in this hospital.
[exhales]
I'm trying to get perspective. Everything feels enormous.
Like it's all just... I... I can't get perspective.
My niece's cancer has come back.
She's 1 7 years old and she's going to die.
PIus...
25 years ago, I had a secret affair with...
EIIis Grey.
And today, I find out that my wife knew the entire time.
There was no... secret.
And she stayed with me.
Hmm.
I respect him, you know?
Dr. Burke. I...
I respect him. He is decent. He's honorable.
An arrogant ass who just hogs the OR and thinks he's God, but...
he's decent and he's honorable.
I respect him.
He's one of the foremost cardiothoracic surgeons in the country and I have to...
It's his hand.
I cannot get perspective.
I can't do this. I can't be responsible for him.
Preston's an honorable and decent man, but, Derek, so are you.
You are honorable and decent. And you're too honorable and decent to run.
You don't know how much I wish this was bourbon.
Anything I can get for you, Dr. Burke?
No. I'm fine.
Um, there... there must be something.
It would be nice... to have some ice chips.
And a touch of morphine if I'm allowed.
[rumble of thunder]
And, uh...
Cristina.
Coming right up.
Where is Cristina?
Where are... where are all of the suck-ups?
Excuse me?
My interns. My ass-kissing, surgery-hungry, competitive suck-ups.
Where are they? Why aren't they here fetching you ice chips and morphine?
Why aren't they here sucking up?
You know something.
- I'm a patient. - Preston Xavier Burke,...
what have you done with my suck-ups?
What do we do? What do we do?
I'm starting dopamine and dobutamine drips. We can use those together, right?
- Milrinone? - I don't know.
None of us do. Start the dobutamine and dopamine.
[Denny] I feel Iike my chest is running away.
- His heart rate's 21 7. - He's in SVT!
No, no. Izzie, stop pumping. Stop.
- [George] No change. - We need that medicine!
- What medicine? - I'II know when I see it.
The one that stops the heart.
No. The whole point is to keep my heart beating.
It only stops it for six seconds.
- It's adenosine! - Uh, his heart is speeding up! Guys!
We have to do something! He cannot take this for much Ionger.
- What about shocking him? - Found it!
[George] Cristina, come over here. Lift up his arm.
The nurses Iift the arm when they push adenosine. It gets to the heart faster.
- Denny. You're going to feel, um... - Izzie!
No, it's OK. It just feels Iike...
- I'm gonna die. - You're not, I promise. It's the meds.
- Are you sure we used the right drugs? - The book said it was right.
- I used the one I know! - He's not going to die, right?
Right? Right?
[continuous beep]
[beeping stops]
[Denny wheezes]
You fools better have a good explanation for this.
Step away from the patient.
Step away from the patient!
I can't. I have to pump his heart.
OIivia, take over for Dr. Stevens.
Izzie, you're done here. I need you to Ieave the room.
- Izzie... - No! Do not touch me!
OIivia, stay with Dr. Stevens. Help her if she'II Iet you.
You three. Outside. Now!
Where was rational thought? Where was cognitive thinking?
First do no harm? The morals, the ethics?
Where was sanity when you three decided to help that girl?
- We didn't... - No, no. No speaking.
I do not want to have to testify against any of you in a court of Iaw.
Not one word.
She cut his LVAD wire.
- I said no speaking. - I didn't!
Then no moving!
Cristina, Burke is asking for you. Go!
I'm assuming you ran Iabs?
I'm asking a question.
- Answer me! - You said no speak...
- I know what I said! - [Meredith] Yes.
O'Malley, get me the Iab results. Do not pass go.
Do not talk to another Iiving soul.
Get the Iabs! Get back here!
Grey...
come with me.
How are you?
You Iook good.
Are those your films?
Oh. Burke...
Shepherd, uh... doesn't know if he can fix my hand.
Maybe I'II wait it out. See if this numbness subsides.
Yeah.
Or I could Iet Shepherd operate.
Yeah. Yeah.
I could Iose all hand function.
What if I can never operate again?
Yeah.
- Cristina? - Yeah?
- Stop saying yeah. - OK.
I need...
You said you were here.
- For me. - Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
- Cristina. - Hmm?
I need you to tell me... what you think I should do.
I...
[rumble of thunder]
I-I told Dr. Bailey that I would be back.
OK? I-I told her that I wouldn't be Iong.
- Cristina... - I'm-I'm-I'm going to think about it.
I mean...
I'm going to think about it. OK?
[thunderclap]
[breathes heavily]
[pumping]
- How're you feeling, Denny? - Really, really good.
Like an athlete or a superhero.
Or some other kind of really healthy person.
- You're funny. You're a funny guy. - Izzie. No speaking.
I cut my own LVAD wires, you know?
I went rogue. AII by myself.
Shush. You're weak enough as it is. PIease don't waste energy on Iying.
- Dr. Bailey? - I did indeed say no speaking.
I don't care!
He's going to get the heart, right?
You're gonna sign the charts and talk to the transplant coordinator?
Here are the Iabs.
See? See, his BUN and creatinine are increasing.
He clearly has pulmonary edema.
He moves up to 1A status on the transplant Iist.
UNOS will give him the heart. You need to call...
Isobel Stevens, I take my medical advice from doctors. You are a visitor.
- What? - You are a visitor in this hospital.
You will not be a doctor in this hospital again until I decide you are.
OIivia, take over the heart pump.
He gets the heart, though, right?
Sir? Uh, I need to ask you a hypothetical question.
Can we do this another time?
Uh, if someone on the staff
deliberately unhooked a transplant candidate from his LVAD
in an attempt to worsen his condition and get him moved up the donor Iist...?
Hypothetically, sir.
I think you need to tell me exactly what's going on here.
Believe me, sir, you want this to stay a hypothetical.
Because I'm thinking if that did happen,
you'd be duty-bound to report it and the hospital would be in danger
of Iosing its accreditation as a transplant site.
So hypothetically...?
Hypothetically, if the patient got worse,
would it be unethical for him to receive the heart even though, medically,
his worsened condition now puts him at the top of the donor Iist?
Hypothetically?
How bad is he?
In the few hours it would take a new LVAD to be delivered, he'II be dead.
Our responsibility is to the patient.
If, medically, he's at the top of the Iist,
then he should get the heart.
- Hypothetically. - Thank you, sir.
But practically? Whoever removed the patient from the LVAD,
I expect to be given names
and there will be severe, severe consequences.
Yes, sir.
Wait. Hold on. Dr. Hahn? Dr. Hahn!
Can't stop now, Karev. I only have a few hours to get this heart into my guy.
Dr. Hahn.
UNOS gave the heart to Seattle Grace.
The transplant coordinator stopped your guy from being prepped.
Oh, come on!
He has kids. They're four and five.
Do you know how Iong he's been waiting for this?
He's a good person. He deserves a heart.
- I'm sorry. - [scornfully] I'II bet you are.
No. I am. Believe me.
Listen, we have a chopper waiting on the roof.
And?
You could take up fishing.
- I don't fish. - Fishing's a Iot more fun than surgery.
I have 80 percent hand function now.
Hmm. 80 percent's not enough. Not for you.
- Fishing, huh? - You don't fish.
[ The Coral Sea: Look At Her Face]
Shepherd?
You don't have to thank me. I'm sure you'II return the favor one day.
I was going to say, please try not to kill me.
- [all chuckle] - I'II do my best.
OK.
- Hmm. - Look at that thing.
Left ventricle's excessively dilated.
He wouldn't have Iasted another hour with this heart.
No, he wouldn't have.
OK, retract that Iittle bit right there.
OK, I am now removing the aneurysm from the nerve cluster.
- [beeping] - NAPs are dropping.
Arterial pressure's down 50 percent.
Did you cut the nerve root?
I don't see any discontinuity of the nerves.
AII right, Iet's do a reflex test on his hand. Chief.
OK.
- Nothing. - Damn it. Try it again.
Uh-uh.
This doesn't make sense. I'd know if I severed a nerve.
Derek, is the arm paralyzed?
- I have to do a wake-up test. - Derek.
There's only one person who can help me figure out
whether or not I've damaged the relay or not, and that's Burke.
He's been through a Iot of trauma today.
I'm trying to prevent the trauma he's going to feel
if I have to tell him he's paralyzed.
Bailey's treating us Iike we're children. We're not children.
We shouldn't have to sit out here Iike we're on a time-out.
It is a time-out. What we did is way in need of a time-out.
You realize we could get kicked out of the program for this?
Not we.
I did this.
You're probably right. Maybe I should run.
But I'd rather be running towards somebody than running away.
Yang? Shepherd's asking for you.
Uh, for Burke's surgery?
- Yes. Hurry up. - Uh...
I-I can't. I'm... I'm in a time-out.
Time-out's over. Right now. Yang, we need you.
He said marry me, right? He did?
- That really happened? - It really happened.
It really did.
Screw this. I'm checking on Denny.
[Derek] OK. How we doing?
[man] He's at the edge of consciousness. Very Iight. He should be up soon.
OK. Yang? You're up.
Oh... what? I'm sorry. What do you need me to do?
When he comes to, he's going to be disoriented
and he'II probably fight the intubation. We can't numb the arm
because we need him to move his fingers. He will be in a Iot of pain.
- We need you to keep him focused, OK? - OK. Yeah.
[Derek] OK, Iet's, Iet's wake him up.
Burke?
Thank you. For calling me about Izzie.
I-I didn't do you any favors.
Well, it meant something that you called. It meant something to me.
It didn't mean anything.
Right. OK. Sorry.
Stop saying that you're sorry!
You want to know something?
I knew.
I knew you didn't feel that way about me.
Even during...
When we were in bed, I knew.
I knew and I still Iet it happen.
Because, um...
[sighs] I...
I figured that...
one night with you was better than never.
So you just stop saying that you're sorry...
because you didn't know any better.
But I did.
And...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Meredith.
Burke, it's Cristina. I'm sorry.
Wake up. Wake up.
Wake up. Burke.
Baby, wake up. Do it for me. Open your eyes.
Hi. Hi.
[Derek] Get ready. Get ready. Hold him down.
- Calm him down. - [Richard] Yang!
Cristina, get in there. Get in his face. Talk to him, Cristina.
- [Richard] Yang! - Get in there!
[Derek] Hold him down! Hold him down! Calm him down! Cristina!
[Hahn] Scissors.
[AIex] It's beautiful work, Dr. Hahn.
The hard part is still to come.
AII right, Iet's start taking him off bypass.
[beeping]
See if this heart will beat on its own.
- [Bailey] Nothing. - Come on, Denny. Beat for me.
- [muffled screams] - Cristina!
[Burke grunts and strains]
Hold him down, Chief. Hold his arm.
Preston? Preston, Iook at me! Look at me!
Right here. Listen, Iisten. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.
Listen, there was a complication. We can fix it.
We need you to move your fingers on your right side.
Can you do that? Come on, you can do this.
Look at me. On your right hand. OK? I know. I know.
It's just you and me. We can do this. OK. Come on. Focus. Focus.
Now you're going to move your fingers on your right hand.
Come on, Preston. You can do it. Move your fingers. Move your fingers.
- [Burke strains] - Come on. Come on.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
[thud]
[continuous beep]
- No response. Charge to 20. - CIear.
- [thud] - Come on. Come on.
Come on.
[ Gomez: How We Operate]
[splutters]
Come on.
[Derek] Come on, come on, come on.
- Come on. Come on. - [Richard sighs]
Come on. Good. You're doing good, Dr. Burke.
OK, I need you to touch each finger of your right hand to your thumb.
One.
Two. You're doing great. Keep going.
- Three. Good. - [Richard] One more.
[Derek] That's good.
- [Bailey] Dr. Hahn... - Wait for it.
- Dr. Hahn? He... - Just wait!
[continuous beep]
[beeping stops]
[steady beep]
And that's how we raise the dead in Erica Land.
Good job, Denny.
Hey.
- Camille's parents here? - Yes.
There aren't any options.
[sighs] I could do a hysterectomy, an ovarectomy,
pick out the remaining ovaries.
We could try chemo, maybe radiation,
but the cancer's spread to her Iiver, her Iungs, her bowel.
- Even if we were aggressive... - No.
[sighs]
I hate this.
I never get used to telling someone
their kid's going to drop dead before she's 1 8.
Oh, dammit.
I'm sorry. I didn't...
I'm not usually this insensitive, Richard, I just...
- It's just been one of those days. - It's OK.
I'm gonna go... I mean, do you want to go?
Oh, no, you go. They'd rather hear it from the treating physician.
I got work to get back to. Deal with this Denny Duquette situation.
[indistinct]
I cut the LVAD wire.
Actually, I cut the LVAD wire.
No. I did it. I'm the one who cut the wire.
Fine. I cut the LVAD wire.
- I'm totally innocent. - [Meredith] AIex!
I wasn't here. He knows I wasn't here. The guy's not mentally challenged.
[George] That's not the point. What about Ioyalty?
[Cristina] We made an agreement.
People! I know who did this. So, you might as well come clean. I know.
With all due respect, sir, if you knew, you wouldn't be asking us.
- I did what... - You have your suspicions,
- but you don't actually know. - Not for sure.
And you can't do anything to any of us without proof, sir.
Well, one of you compromised a patient's Iife.
One of you stole an organ.
One of you jeopardized the integrity of this hospital and of UNOS.
Now, you tell me, and you tell me right now!
AII right, fine.
No surgeries.
- Sir? - You heard. No surgeries.
No one scrubs in, or watches from the gallery,
no one so much as goes near the OR floor.
Until someone confesses, the five of you will share a single patient:
Camille Travis. Whatever she wants, the five of you will provide it!
Whatever she wants.
Now, get the hell out of my sight!
- He didn't say we were fired. - He might as well have.
- No surgeries? - That wasn't bad. We got off easy.
Yeah, for now. You think this is over?
[George] I could use a good coma right now. A nice, Iong coma.
There's only been three careers I've ever wanted. Ruler of my own planet,
Wonder Woman, or a surgeon.
I don't see any invisible planes or exra countries Iying around.
I will go back and tell him. I will tell him it was me.
And get kicked out of the program? You will keep your mouth shut.
We all will keep our mouths shut.
- This is crap. I'm turning her in. - AIex.
What? You said we had to stand by Izzie.
Now I get stuck catering some V.I.P. chick patient? I don't think so.
AIex, I am sorry and I really do appreciate what you did for Denny.
Shut up. I only Iied to Burke because I wanted in on that transplant surgery.
I don't care about Denny and I hope you get thrown out on your ass.
Hey! We stick together. We all did this. Nobody's a victim.
We... we stick together.
- Damn it. - Thank you.
- You're welcome. - We can handle this.
Camille Travis is a kid with cancer. We give her what she wants for a while.
- How hard can that be? - Harder than you think.
This is CIaire and Natalie. Camille Travis' friends.
Her very best friends in the whole wide world.
Girls, who exactly is Camille Travis?
Like, the Chief of Surgery's niece.
And girls, what does the Chief of Surgery's niece want, exactly?
- Like, a prom. - No. Like, the best prom ever.
- We need a theme. - [George] Theme...
Ooh! Ooh! Can we have sparkly Iights? Because sparkly Iights are amazing!
I didn't Iike teenage girls when I was a teenage girl.
- I wore a Iot of black. - Oh!
Hmm.
I had the whole angry, pink-hair thing going on.
I wouldn't have been caught dead at a prom.
Oh, my mother made me go.
My date barfed on my dress and then tried to feel me up.
- [Meredith Iaughs] - Mm-hm.
There's a Iot to be said for being an adult.
Yeah.
You haven't mentioned Burke.
No.
- Well, have you checked on him? - [sighs] No.
OK, I could try harder to make you open up and deal with the Burke thing,
or I could be neurotic and selfish and talk about my problems.
Which would be more supportive right now?
Selfish and neurotic, please.
Hm.
[inhales] Finn says Doc's in pain.
Derek and I have to talk about whether we should put him to sleep or not.
Finn thinks there's something going on with me and Derek. Which there is not.
There so clearly is not.
- And Addison having that meltdown? - Ugh.
I mean, dogs get sick and we're expected to put them to sleep.
People get sick, we don't put them down.
We don't just give up on people.
There's nothing going on between me and Derek.
There is a Iot to be said for being an adult.
Yeah.
- Bailey around? - No, she was in here earlier.
Said she'd be back in a couple of hours. The coast is clear.
You Iook... God, you Iook amazing.
They always tell you that transplant patients rebound fast,
but, you know, to see it in person...
I have warm hands. I've never had warm hands because of my circulation.
Feel.
Warm hands and check it out, I have a regular heartbeat.
[chuckles] Yes, you do.
I should, um... I got to go.
I would stay, but if Bailey catches me here, she'd...
And, uh, you know, the Chief has us doing this prom thing. It's so...
But, yeah, I'm really happy for you.
You Iook... Whoo-hoo, Denny. [Iaughs]
- OK. I'm going to go. - What?
Huh?
You Iike your men sick and feeble? You don't dig healthy guys?
[Iaughs] I... I dig you.
Then why are you all swirly and twitchy?
- No, I'm not. - Yeah, you're swirly and twitchy.
[Iaughs]
It's because I asked you to marry me.
- So you remember that? - It's not the kind of thing I'd forget.
Yeah. Look, Denny, um... I'm giving you an out.
Excuse me? Well, I'm giving you an out.
I mean, you thought you were dying, and I was saving your Iife,
and you know, everything was so...
So I won't hold it against you, or...
be hurt and offended if you wanna take your proposal back.
I'm giving you an out.
I don't want an out.
You should take the out. [Iaughs]
We can't get married. I mean, that would be crazy. Insane.
We should date and have sex. PIenty of sex.
When your heart gets better, all the sex you can handle.
But marriage is, um...
- [Iaughs] Marriage. I mean... - OK. It's my turn now.
- But I need to... - No, no, no. We're taking turns.
I've decided it's polite and it keeps me from yelling.
When it's your turn again, you can talk.
For five years, I've had to Iive by the choices of my doctors.
The guys that cut me open...
decided my Iife. There wasn't one choice that was mine.
And now I have this heart that beats and works.
I get to be Iike everybody else.
I get to make my own decisions, have my own Iife,
do whatever the damn hell I choose.
Now, here's the good part. So you Iisten close.
What I choose...
[sniffs] is you.
You're who I want to wake up with and go to bed with
and do everything in between with.
I get a choice now.
I get to choose.
I choose you, Izzie Stevens.
OK. It's your turn again.
- [Richard] They're not talking. - Wagons have been circled.
I need answers. Somebody's got to take responsibility.
I can tell you what I think happened, what I assumed happened.
But they're the only ones that know it.
I want to meet with each of them separately. I will break them.
- You have a dress for the prom? - Excuse me?
I'm going to the prom. If I have to go, everybody has to go.
What? I'm a grown woman.
Everybody goes to the prom! Everybody!
Central High? Two years ago,
they went with all black and had purple Iights and...
Everybody Iooked Iike ghouls.
Fine, we could go with all white!
- I was reading Elle Girl and they... - [groans and moans]
- Are you having a seizure? - Will that get me out of here?
Fine, Iet's go with seizure.
Seizure beats the hell out of a 45-minute conversation
about what color balloons we're gonna buy.
- You need to get a Iife! - Chief's niece. Chief's niece.
It's OK. The hot ones are always mean. It's Iike a rule or something.
- Doesn't he remind you of Nate Sims? - Totally.
- He's totally Nate. - No, I'm not Nate.
- Don't engage. - Nate broke up with Camille
the first time she had cancer.
The other thing about the hot ones: they're usually cowards.
Don't you dare try to judge us for trying to make our friend,
who just happens to be dying of cancer, happy.
The color does matter. Maybe not to you.
But it does matter.
Not to bother you, but...
What? One of you better spit out the problem right now!
The problem is the colors and the balloons and the "Under the Sea."
"No, it's Titanic." "Let's go with Tears in Heaven." "No, too morbid."
"It should be pink." "It should be red." "It should be a rainbow!"
He's saying we're very hopeful that you speak teenage girl.
Silver and white. It's mystical and magical.
Ever see fashion week in New York? Silver and white runways and backdrops.
No matter what color the clothes are, they pop.
- They pop? - They pop.
- Sounds good. - Yeah.
O'Malley and Karev, get 500 balloons in silver and white and 1 00 in black.
Shiny black, not the matte.
Yang, stick with Camille, keep her spirits up.
Make sure she has her shoes, dress and makeup on standby.
Grey, get with Patricia. Make sure we can rope off
the second-floor nurses' station and waiting area. And get menus.
Got it?
Oh, no, no. You don't get to Iook at me Iike that.
No, you compromised my medical Iicense. You nearly killed a patient,
Iied to the Chief of Surgery, and made me Iook bad.
We are doing this prom and doing it right. Move!
[George groans]
There's an emergency appendectomy happening in OR 1 as we speak.
Again, I'm sorry.
Stop saying you're sorry when you're not.
- [air hisses] - You make me sick.
- Nice. - Hey.
- [Ioud hissing]
- Can we talk? - Yeah.
Hold it.
- Hey. - You never called.
- What? - Last night.
We had plans and you went off with Izzie and never called.
- A Iot of stuff went down Iast night. - I know, everybody heard.
- So what exactly happened? - I can't talk about it.
Come on. I'm not going to tell, George. It's me.
Look, it's Vegas. What happened in that room stays in that room.
- OK. Yeah, I get it. - Hey.
[she sighs]
Do you want to go to prom with me?
No, George. No, I don't want to go to prom with you.
What was that about?
- She said she Ioved me. - Oh.
- [pop]
Oh! Hey.
- I've been calling your cell all night. - Um... oh, well,
uh, it's a Iong story,
which essentially ends with me inviting you to a prom.
An actual prom? A... corsages and tuxedos?
Yeah, I know it's stupid, but...
No. I'm in. I Ioved prom.
I mean, I don't want to brag or anything, but I was crowned king.
Really? You were that kid in high school?
- What is wrong with being that kid? - Nothing. It's very cute, actually.
- Hello. - [Iaughing] Hi.
What are you doing here?
[sighs] Doc had some seizures Iast night.
Pretty serious. The cancer spread to his brain. I'm sorry.
- Hey. - Hey.
How's Preston?
He's recovering nicely.
- Addison... - I don't want to talk about it.
I mean we've come so far. You forgave me for Mark and we're trying.
- We are. - We are trying.
[both] We're trying.
And I was jealous when there was no need to be.
Right?
Addison?
- What? - Will you go to the prom with me?
[ Peter Droge: Under The Waves]
I went to college on a wrestling scholarship.
I played baseball, some basketball. But we'II go with football.
What does football have to do with who cut the LVAD wires?
Let's say you were drafted to a team that wasn't your first pick.
You know, you don't Iike the players. You hate the way they play the game.
You even think the quarterback is full of crap.
Now the quarterback's a pain in the ass that you don't owe a damn thing to,
but... it's your team. You don't quit.
You don't talk to the press. You don't bitch to the coach.
You just... you just go out there every Sunday
and you make the blocks and you take the hits and you play to win.
You show up and you suit up and you play. Because it's your freaking team.
I know your type.
You're a surgical junkie.
Yes, sir?
It's not going to be easy for you to be away from the OR that Iong.
No, sir.
And if you want to get back to the OR,
you're going to tell me what I need to know, aren't you?
You're right.
It's not easy for me to be away from the OR.
It's not easy for me to sit in front of you
or any other authority figure for that matter,
and not be able to give you the exact answer you want to hear.
I've always been the one with the answers.
But right now, sir, I don't have any.
- Dr. Yang... - How do you keep your edge, sir?
I watch you, and you've been doing this a Iong time,
and you're clean. You're focused.
You are the job. Nothing gets to you.
And the thing is, sir, I was Iike that. Until I got here.
Until I actually started doing this job and now everything is...
- is fuzzy. - That's besides the point.
No, see, sir, this is the point. Because I can't tell you.
What happened in that room... I can't tell you.
And before, I could have. No guilt, no Ioyalties, no problem.
Before... before I wouldn't have even been in that room.
I wouldn't have gotten involved. I would have never frozen in surgery.
And I would have told him what I thought he should do.
I had an edge, sir.
I had an edge and I've Iost it.
And I need it. I need it back.
So if you could just tell me how you keep yours
and how not to be affected,
I know I could be a great surgeon.
So, if you could just give me the answers, I would really appreciate it.
You're excused, Dr. Yang.
- But... - You're excused.
I'II tell you. I'II tell you who cut the LVAD wires, sir, if you...
No, you won't. I don't want to know. Not from you.
Yeah, I have the answers, but I can't tell them to you.
I'm not going to be responsible for you becoming Iess human.
[clock ticks]
I'm a pretty girl.
- What? - I'm not being arrogant. It's just...
Just a fact. For a Iong time, I made a career from my Iooks, so I get it.
I'm a pretty girl. And not in a "from-a-certain-angle" way.
In an obvious way. It's the blonde thing. And the big boobs thing.
Big boobs are key to "obvious" pretty.
- Dr. Stevens... - It's how men see me.
I'm not a smart girl or an interesting girl. I'm a pretty girl.
The blonde and the boobs confuse guys into thinking that I'm someone else.
And I'm used to it. I'm used to them walking away when they realize...
But then Denny goes and asks me to marry him.
Is that why you cut the wires?
He doesn't make me feel Iike I'm a pretty girl.
He makes me feel Iike...
Iike me. I think he might know me.
And so, if I did cut the LVAD wire, and I'm not saying that I did,
but if I did...
then no. I don't feel guilty.
And I know that I should. And I would if it were anybody else.
But I can't feel anything but happy.
[clock ticks, bell tolls nearby]
Are you gonna...
say anything or...?
I'm not going to break.
I'm starting to get a Iittle freaked out, but I won't break.
It's not because I don't care. I do care what you think about me.
I do... [sighs] care.
I just can't tell you what you want to hear.
Which seems to be a theme in my Iife right now.
Just 'cause you can't say something doesn't mean you don't want to.
You can be with a person and be happy with them, and not Iove them.
And you can Iove someone and not want to be with them.
You don't need to... Iove someone... to want them.
But it's frustrating.
When your brain says what you want and what you actually want don't match up,
it's exhausting.
And... well, it's complicated.
But that's Iife.
And Iife...
sucks.
I've known you for a Iong time. I know your mother and father.
And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you did not cut those LVAD wires.
Meredith, I need you to tell me who did it.
I've been going over and over this in my mind trying to piece this together.
It was you. You were the reason my parents broke up.
And it wasn't just an affair. She really Ioved you.
It wasn't just this cheap thing where she didn't tell you she was married.
It wasn't all a Iie. She Ieft her husband for you.
But you stayed with your wife because it was the right thing to do.
Maybe safe, but she was the right person for you to be with.
And Iet's face it, my mother?
Nothing wrong with being safe.
Being with the good guy because he's good.
And we are talking about forever here.
You've never regretted your decision.
You've never Iooked back.
Right?
[clock ticks, bell tolls]
Finn says we need to make a decision about Doc.
- Good for Finn. - Can we just do this?
- Fine. - We may have to put him to sleep.
Whatever.
Can we do this one thing together without arguing?
What if he can get better?
He's not going to get better. You know that.
Well, Finn thinks we should do it today, then. So I guess I'II go over there.
- Be there. - What time?
Are you coming?
He's my dog.
- Denny! - What did I tell you?
Visiting hours aren't for another hour. You are no Ionger his doctor.
Come back when the visitors come.
- I would, but I can't wait. - Ixnay on the insubordinationay.
- But it's my turn. - If the Chief finds out you were...
Hold on. It's her turn.
Yes. My answer is yes.
Oh, now see, you're going to make my heart stop beating and it's brand new.
I will call security on you.
OK. I will come back during visiting hours.
And it's prom, so I'II show you my dress.
OK.
I'm going.
Izzie.
You did good.
I tricked her into marrying me. How smart am I?
We're throwing a prom. Chief's making us throw a prom.
O'Malley mentioned.
- George came to see you? - He's my friend.
Oh.
I won't bear a grudge.
What did you...?
I have to take care of me. I don't expect you to take care of me.
But I have to take care of me.
If this...
If you can't stay here for this...
I won't bear a grudge.
Are you going to tell Shepherd about...
Not yet.
I'm, uh...
Not yet.
OK. There's a couple of forms you need to sign.
I only need one signature.
- You? - It's fine. Here, I'II sign.
So, how do we do this?
I'II give Doc an injection of terazole to make him sleepy,
then I'II give him an IV injection of phenobarbitol.
- And that will stop his heart? - Yes.
And what do we do after? With his body?
We can... We have the means to dispose of it for you.
That's fine. Go ahead.
We can't throw him away Iike he's garbage.
- We would never... - He's our dog, Derek.
There's that, uh, clearing by the trailer.
Overlooking the water?
We can, uh, bury him there.
That sounds nice.
- You ready? - Yeah.
I'm so sorry, Doc.
- I'm sorry too. - [pager beeps]
- It's the hospital. I got to go. - OK.
OK.
OK. I'II begin.
Shh, shh.
It's OK. It's OK. It's OK.
It's OK.
[Meredith sniffs]
[Finn] He's gone.
- Meredith? - I have to go home and change.
- I'II see you Iater, OK? - Meredith.
I'm sorry. For your Ioss.
Yeah.
You know, the thing is he wasn't really my dog for that Iong.
He was more Derek's dog.
Meredith.
- He was a good dog. - He was.
[ Dressy Bessy: Side 2]
[Bailey] Oh, I'm too tired for this.
- Where's your husband, Dr. Bailey? - Uh, at home with the baby.
Thought you would at Ieast get to get out of this.
- Why? - Well, with Burke upstairs.
What happened to him, I'm sure the Chief would have Iet you out.
Yeah.
[sighs] Oh, God.
[girl Iaughs]
- Hey. - Hey.
You seen Meredith?
I don't think she's here yet.
This whole thing brings back very traumatic memories
of being a band geek with braces and the Iisp.
Spending the whole evening with Skippy Gold talking about Star Wars.
- I hated Star Wars. - Hmm. Thank God.
- This is terrible. - It's bad.
So, you want to, um, dance?
Love to.
[slow music]
Can I cut in?
What did you say to my boyfriend to make him that scared of you?
- I'm a frightening man, Cammie. - [she Iaughs]
No, you're not.
Where Brian's concerned, yes, I am.
Be kind to him.
He Ioves me. I've been Ioved.
And that's something everyone should have once in their Iife.
I've been Ioved.
I have that.
Thank you for the prom, Uncle Richard.
You're welcome.
Hey, I was Iooking for yo... Where are you going?
I'm wearing a dress, have on heels, shaved my Iegs. I'm going to the prom.
- You said you didn't want to go. - I said I didn't want to go with you.
Callie!
I said I Iove you. I said it. I said it out Ioud to your face.
And ever since, you... I've never said that to a guy before.
Never. And now I am just this idiot who says I Iove you and then gets avoided!
No. I'm not avoiding you.
I promise.
You going to say it back?
- No. - I'm humiliated.
No. George. Let me go.
George, Iet me go!
- Wait. - Let me go. Let me go.
Stop fighting me!
If I say it back, you'II know I'm just saying it because you said it to me.
When... when I say I Iove you... I want to mean it,
because...
You just have to give me some time to mean it.
I hate that I'm so into you.
You're a Iot hotter than my Iast prom date.
- Is that a compliment? - Maybe.
- It feels Iike a compliment. - Well, then it is.
Well, keep it up. You might get Iucky.
Well, how Iucky are we talking? Are we talking kind of Iucky?
Or are we talking really, seriously Iucky?
You have been a very patient man and I appreciate it.
What?
[clears throat] Liz, uh... Liz was my wife.
And when she died...
You do this thing, you know, where you stop making plans.
Because you had plans, but then there was a car crash
and your plans disappeared. So you just...
I just try and get from sunup till sundown.
That's as far into the future as I can handle.
And I've been fine with that. I have.
But right now, Iooking at you...
Damn, I have all kinds of plans.
Don't freak out.
I'm not.
- You're not? - No. You have plans.
I have plans.
- You all right? - Yeah, just, uh... hot.
And, uh, claustrophobic.
There's a patient I forgot to check on.
I'm just going to run and splash some cold water on my face.
- Be right back, OK? - Be right back, OK?
- OK. - AII right?
- Meredith. - Leave me alone.
Meredith.
- Leave me alone. - I want to make sure you're all right.
No! I'm not all right! OK?
Are you satisfied? I'm not all right!
Because you have a wife and you call me a whore and our dog died
and now you're Iooking at me. Stop Iooking at me!
I'm not Iooking at you. I am not Iooking at you!
You are Iooking at me! And you watch me.
And Finn has plans and I Iike Finn.
He's perfect for me! And I'm really trying here to be happy!
And I can't breathe! I can't breathe with you Iooking at me Iike that!
So just stop!
Do you think I want to Iook at you?
That I wouldn't rather be Iooking at my wife?
I'm married. I have responsibilities. She doesn't drive me crazy.
She doesn't make it impossible for me to feel normal!
She doesn't make me sick to my stomach
thinking about my veterinarian touching her with his hands!
Oh, man, I would give anything not to be Iooking at you!
[man sighs]
- Oh! You Iook nice. - Thank you. So do you. Hot date?
Nah. This thing is cheesy. I wouldn't waste a decent chick on this.
- [Izzie Iaughs] - You heading in?
- Yeah. Just going to see Denny first. - Oh. OK.
[ Kate Havnevik: Grace]
I'm on my knees
Only memories
Are left for me
To hold
Don't know how
But I'll get by
Slowly pull myself
Together
I'll get through this
There's no escape
So keep me safe
This feels so unreal
Nothing comes easily
Fill this empty space
Nothing is like it seems
Turn my grief to grace
Nothing is like it was
Turn my grief to grace
Nothing comes easily
Where do I begin?
Nothing can bring me peace
I've lost everything
I just want to feel your embrace
- What does this mean? - Uh, I had panties on.
- BIack. Do you see them? - Meredith, what does this mean?
- Help me Iook for them. Fix your tie. - Meredith. What does this mean?
Oh, the nurse told me to come find you. You have to come now. It's Izzie.
Wait, wait, wait.
OK, go.
Chief.
Did my internship here.
My residency.
Came back here the minute my fellowship was done.
The day they told me I would be Chief,
I was standing right there in that OR when I got the news.
Spent my whole career in this hospital.
My whole Iife.
Sir...
Denny Duquette died at 7:42 this evening.
Damn it.
What happened?
[OIivia] I didn't think you guys would want me to go to the Chief...
- Where is she? - She's in there with him.
[Cristina] Izzie...
I think it was a stroke.
He was prone to blood clots.
A clot could have formed on his sutures and traveled to his brain.
It only takes a second.
Iz...
Dr. Hahn did a beautiful job on the surgery.
But I don't know why I didn't think of blood clots.
He died all alone.
He was alone.
There was nothing you could have done.
I changed my dress three times.
I wanted to Iook nice.
I would have been here sooner...
but I couldn't figure out which dress to wear.
Izzie.
We shouldn't be in here.
[Meredith] There are things they need...
They need to move him.
Take him to the morgue.
You can't stay here. I know you want to.
Can you please... please just get out?
I want to be alone with Denny.
[AIex] Izzie, that's not Denny.
Shut up.
Iz. That's not Denny.
The minute his heart stopped beating, he stopped being Denny.
Now, I know you Iove him,
but he also Ioved you.
And a guy that Ioves you Iike that, he doesn't want you to do this to yourself.
Because it's not Denny. Not anymore.
[ Snow Patrol: Chasing Cars]
An hour ago he was proposing.
And now...
And now he's going to the morgue.
Isn't that ridiculous?
Isn't that the most ridiculous piece of crap you've ever heard?
Come on.
[Izzie sobs]
- I'm sorry, these are ridic... Hey. - Hi.
- Where've you been? - Uh, I was with...
- Shepherd. - Yes.
Uh, have you seen Bailey's interns?
Grey? Yang? I'm Iooking for Izzie Stevens in particular.
- No. No. - Chief.
It was me.
I cut his LVAD wire.
I did it. No one helped me.
And now...
I thought I was a surgeon, but...
I can't.
I thought I was a surgeon, but I am not.
So I quit.
Izzie.
I guess that... puts an end to the evening.
- Yeah. - Yeah, I guess it does.
Come on. I'II drive you home.
Meredith?